Ep 3.6 - Self Worth as a Single Christian Woman

In this episode Jill chats with Lizzy Rich, a coach who works with young women growing in their self worth while navigating her own as a Christian single woman. They talk about Lizzy's journey to looking at herself the way God looks at her and how she maintains healthy self worth as a single woman.

Episode Transcript:

Jill Simons

00:00:01

Hello, and welcome to the authentic uprising show. I'm your host, Jill Simons. I am so excited to grow in the radical art of standing in what God says about you with you today. This show is a place where we pour into our concept of who we are, how we've been created with intention by God and how we can live out of the freedom that he has for us more every single day.

 

Jill Simons

00:00:41

Hello and welcome to today's episode of the authentic uprising podcast as always. I'm your host, Jill Simons, and you know that I just love spending every Tuesday with you. I'm so excited to share my guest with you today. I have known her since she was a college student through the beauty of the connection of the internet. And I've always been so in inspired by watching her career as she really steps into what the Lord is calling her to do specifically, which is coach and mentor women to really stand in their dignity, which is something that we need so much in our world right now. So Lizzy rich is a coach and a faith-based blogger who helps people really embrace God's for their dignity and their identity. And today we're gonna be chatting about what, why our self worth really can and should be detached from external metrics. So, Lizzie, thank you so much for being here with me today.

 

Lizzy Rich

00:01:37

Hi. Yeah, I'm so excited to be here.

 

Jill Simons

00:01:40

So why don't you start by telling us a little bit about yourself a little bit. What about why you got into this space in the first place?

 

Lizzy Rich

00:01:47

Yeah, totally, definitely like a long story made short, but I have just been like on a very long journey with the Lord of very radical healing and relationship. And within that kind of journey, the Lord in a very funny way, like offhand through like college classes, it had me make this Instagram where I just started writing to women about first just fashion and modest fashion, because it was an area that I struggled with so much. And I hated the idea of modesty. I really rejected it for a very long time and learning what it is to dignify my body learning, what, like the worth of just my body is, was so transformative for me. And so I really wanted to transform that narrative around what modesty is and what clothing is and what it looks like to dress in a beautiful, modest way. But as like I walked with the blog and as grew as it grew, and as I like started talking to more women and it just kind of transformed from there into this space of just vulnerably walking with women and sharing women, what it looks like to be in a day to day relationship with the Lord, right.

 

Lizzy Rich

00:03:02

To, to walk towards sanctity one day at a time. And self-worth healing has been some of the biggest parts of that. And that naturally led as I just fell in love with walking with women. It led in to me becoming a women's coach with a program called women's school. And so now it's just like my great joy that I get to walk one on one with women in discovering what their self worth is, what their identity is, what their purpose is and what it's like to like live so confidently in what they were created to be who they were, who they were treated by. Right. So

 

Jill Simons

00:03:43

I love that. And I think that that's some place modesty, especially it's interesting that that was kind of your gateway into all of this, because I think that's an area so often that does get presented really toxically. And then everybody kind of throws the baby out with the bath water when, you know, either they go all the way into, like I'm going to really just clamp down and embrace every part of this, which really comes from a shame based mentality. Or I'm just gonna check the whole thing and forget about this modesty thing. And it's like so many things it's such a middle road that you have to kind of find and parse, and I've always appreciated at that in your post where it's really about like, we can't have, you know, here's your 10 rules kind of thing. It really it's about discerning those individual choices that you make.

 

Lizzy Rich

00:04:32

Yeah, absolutely. And it's about like, I think huge thing with modesty is knowing what you're worth and knowing what your body is worth and being able to dress in a way that reflects that. Right. And so it's actually a freedom and it's actually an expression of worth versus a shame or versus like rules. Right? So yeah, it has been definitely a really beautiful journey to like get to that point, cuz I was in the rules and the shame I went, I went to both the extremes before I found my mediums. So, and honestly every form of growth I've been to both extremes. So

 

Jill Simons

00:05:09

I think probably a lot of people resonate with that, especially people that are Christians, cuz that's really, that's where so much of what we try and create sits is where people, you know, we're not necessarily the thing that people who have never met the Lord are in countering, but we're really working with these people that we've met Christ. We have the start of this relationship with him. There's so many things that it's just like, gosh, this really wasn't supposed to be this way where there's just a lack of that fruit, especially of peace that so many people are hungry for that we find even when we're relationship with Christ. And it's so many of these topics like modesty like self worth that are kind of the smaller pieces of the puzzle that are still so necessary to get right internally just in and of ourselves to be able to even enter into a relationship where we're really being authentic with Christ.

 

Lizzy Rich

00:06:02

Hmm. Yeah. I got nothing to add. That was amazing.

 

Jill Simons

00:06:07

So in walking with women through these struggles with shame from modesty, self worth obviously became a part of the conversation early on. And so how did you in early days after having been at these extremes really come across this conviction about your own self worth and where self worth really lies?

 

Lizzy Rich

00:06:31

That's a good question. I think what's so FA I would say it actually started with scripture. If that makes sense. As I grew in my relationship with the Lord and in wanting to like grow in, I'm a person who just like is obsessed with knowing things like when I know things, I feel like I'm more confident we work through that in different ways. But when I started this blog and I knew all of a sudden and were listening and I was like, whoa, I don't know if I'm equipped to be speaking and women for women to be listening to what I'm speaking. And so I just, yeah, went on this like really intense thing. And so I started reading different like church teachings on different things or like different Christian teachings on worth and modesty. But then I dove into the gospel and really looked at the way that Jesus spoke to people and the way that he spoke to women specifically and the way that he loved on women in the old and the new Testament.

 

Lizzy Rich

00:07:32

Right. And I had a lot of, I had a lot of wounds surrounding self worth really first and foremost rooted in, I had an addiction to pornography that really affect like clinically, like it's psychologically proven to have drastically negative impacts on a woman's self worth to just constantly dealing with different rejections and sisterly wounds and friend wounds and all of these different things that really drastically can Conter woman's self worth. Right. And so I, in beginning that healing journey, it's discovering the way that like Jesus, Jesus speaks to me in those moments, the way that Jesus would speak to his sister, the way that Jesus would speak to a friend, the way that Jesus would speak to a daughter. Right. And then imagining myself in those and reading it in the gospel and like actually knowing what he would say. Right. I don't even have to imagine it. He says it and like sitting in that reality was probably the first, the start, right. To like really living in what self worth was, was what does, who does Jesus say that I am and how does he speak to me? And then yeah. And then like therapy and other like Unbound ministries, like going through these different things that really heal wounds and replace those things with truth in reality. So it's been like a lot of different, it's been a very long journey. It hasn't been an overnight transition that's for sure.

 

Jill Simons

00:09:05

Yeah. That's so beautiful though, because I mean, you talk about places to go to renew your self worth. Like eight of Jesus is, you know, like there's no competition there.

 

Lizzy Rich

00:09:17

That's where you go.

 

Jill Simons

00:09:19

Exactly. Like that is. And I love that. That is so much in like how his voice is and revealed because you're right. We have those concrete examples of scripture, but then we also have the confidence that God wants to speak to us in that internal relat that we have with him. And that's something that one of my dear friends and mentors, Beth Davis, when early in this journey for me was talking about, I was talking with her about really discerning, is this the Lord's voice? And it, it will never forget that she said, it's always gonna be kinder than you think it will will be. And that is part of the discernment. And I was just like, gosh, man, what? And I became so aware then of the lies around what I thought his voice would sound like, that the things that I had placed there because of my own wounds as well, that I was like, well, I'm sure he would say, and never having asked him, never having allowed him to speak about it to me submitting my free will in that way. But then when I did make that shift into starting that kind of relationship with him, how often that is. So the case where there's just this beautiful, I'm always aware of the sister component with the person of Jesus. I think when I speak to the father, I'm aware of the daughter thing, but it really is funny because I feel like Jesus and I now are at this point where he's such my older brother, like he will give me this face sometimes where I'm like, what are you like go me? You like, like,

 

Lizzy Rich

01:11:00

Yeah, That's

 

Jill Simons

01:11:02

Are you gonna do it? Are you gonna, are you gonna respond? And I'm just like, okay, gimme a minute, Jesus. Like I have all brothers. And so that's a relationship that I'm intimately familiar with, but it's just funny because that, that really is the level of intimacy he desires with us.

 

Lizzy Rich

01:11:20

Yeah, absolutely. And I, I was reading this book on prayer and one of the first things in the introduction was we often put our wounds from past relationships onto our relationship with Jesus. Right. And so if we have a fatherly wound, a brotherly wound, a sisterly wound, a friend wound all these D at like potential things that are very real and are very real wounds that sit in our heart right. And affect us. And because that's our, the only thing we know, that's our reference point that becomes our reference point for our relationship with the Lord. And so a lot of times like that work needs to be done before you can even dive into like, yeah. Like I love that. I, Beth Davis amazing that doesn't shock me, that she would say something that beautiful, but it is shocking. Like every time I enter into that space of prayer where I let the Lord speak over me and like a very like lead way, it's always shocking how kind he is. Like, I'm always, I'm always shocked and I shouldn't be, but I am because it's, there's those wounds there where I expect judgment or even sarcasm sometimes like expect there to be a sarcastic remark. And it's like, so kind and merciful and forgiving. And I'm like, yeah, yeah,

 

Jill Simons

01:12:35

Absolutely. And also, and I think that that's what Jesus is really teaching me in this brotherly relationship. Like also fun, like not, yeah, sarcastic, but like actually fun where it's like this very childlike joyfilled exchange where he's really inviting me to go back to this time in my life, not to the wounds of childhood, but to the joy of childhood and really the things that were skipped or missed or, or decreased in childhood for whatever reason and renewing that and really resurrecting that part of my story even now, which has just been so interesting.

 

Lizzy Rich

01:13:17

Yeah. I, yeah, no. So that's so funny that you bring that up because that is exactly where I feel like the Lord is leading me right now is this place of play with him. And I think it was Thomas Aquinas, maybe who says what someone says the, the soul at like play is the soul at rest. Mm. And oftentimes we can have such a serious relationship with the Lord of like, I have to fix all these things and work on all these things with the Lord and it, so it's so interesting. Cause I was like, I have a great relationship with the Lord. I talked to him every single day, so why don't I trust him? Why can't I, why can't I fall in him and the ways that I want to, and it's actually my therapist who was like, intimacy is built through play.

 

Lizzy Rich

01:14:00

It's built through like that fun interaction it's built through that trust and that bond of friendship. Right. And realizing I didn't, that's something that's so essential. Like I need to trust him to trust what he's saying to me. Like if I don't like, I don't trust him. And if I don't trust who he is and if I don't have like fun with him, then how can I trust when he speaks identity over me. Right. And when he speaks truth over me, it's like, I can't live in that. Right. So I just love that. That's I think play is such an essential aspect. That's like never brought up in prayer. Yeah, yeah.

 

Jill Simons

01:14:35

Yeah. That's been such because I don't even know if I've come across it like formally anywhere. It's really just been like, oh, this seems like what we're doing now.

 

Lizzy Rich

01:14:46

Yes.

 

Jill Simons

01:14:46

I'm here for it.

 

Lizzy Rich

01:14:50

And that's yeah. I feel like that's actually something I also learned from Beth Davis is like watching her. I'm like, she has such a playful relationship with the Lord, you know, to like joke with him and to laugh with him and like bring funny things to him. Not just serious things. Like, that's kind of what I've been seeing and watching this intimacy unfold and how kind of bring you back to this idea of worth in dignity. Like as I watch this like relationship of intimacy and fun and play unfold. So many of my wounds around my identity that have to do with intimacy around being wanted around being seen all of those, like things begin to heal the, because it's like, oh, I'm so like, I am funny, like, like wounds around like, oh, I'm not a funny person. And so I get insecure when I'm with people because whatever.

 

Lizzy Rich

01:15:38

And it's like actually like the Lord laughs at my jokes all the time. And that seems so like silly and a little bit weird, but I'm like, no, I'm funny. Like Jesus and I love all the time or like, oh no, like Jesus wants to be around me. He wants to like, he wa like, when I feel like, oh, I never had anyone. Like I was never someone's person. Right. Wait I'm Jesus' person. He wants me here. I'm his friend. I'm his sibling. I'm his. And like, it's just so like radically healing to develop that relationship with the Lord and watch that moon, like see where he was in all of those moments and how moving forward. It's this place of stability, right. That I could fall on. Yeah. So, absolutely.

 

Jill Simons

01:16:23

It's, it's funny because I, in hearing you talk about this relationship with the Lord where he wants to be with you, it reminds me of this story that one of my mentors in prophetic ministry has shared with me where he was praying with someone and asked the Lord to share a word with him, for the person. And the Lord said, tell them that I like them. And this, this man was kind of like, do, do you want me to say love? Like, you know, that you love them. And the Lord was like, no, just say that you like them. And, and so he delivers this word, but he's kind of like, sorry, I think this is wrong. This doesn't seem very helpful. And the person was so touched because that was the lie that they were believing is that like, there was like this obligation almost in the relationship with God. Well, God's gotta love everybody. So like, I guess I'm included in that sort of thing, as opposed to this idea that like, no, the Lord actually likes you. Like he wants to be around you. And this is something that is life giving to him. And I think that that is something that doesn't get talked about enough and something that a lot of people are, or maybe just straight up unaware of.

 

Lizzy Rich

01:17:33

Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

 

Jill Simons

01:17:37

I think that all of these pieces of the puzzle in relationship with God lead us back to the, really the necessity of detaching our self worth from these human achievement pieces that we, that we place are worth on and in. So, you know, you and I talked before we got on the call about how it's swimsuit season and how there's, you know, just all of these societal markers for what point you're supposed to be at age and all of these other pressures that people have in life that, that really create this lie. That as soon as I'm married, I will feel confident as soon as I'm X weight, as soon as I get X job, as soon as I make X amount of money and not having achieved those things. So often that lie kind of unchallenged because it's like, well, I, I don't know because I've never gotten there. So seems like that could happen. And I know that was very prevalent in my young adulthood. And so you, especially being young, you know, significantly younger than I am in your young, a adult, right life right now with so many unrealized potentials in your life right now, how are you navigating kinda this lie that I see. So privately, especially in people who have so many things that they know they haven't done yet. And so then therefore are putting self worth on those things out in the future.

 

Lizzy Rich

01:19:11

Yeah. That's so funny cuz everything you brought up is just things that I've so very much so had to work through. Like growing up in Southern California, it's always baking suit season here and girls can wear like, yeah. And I always was, for some reason, women in California were all size like zero in size two, not that's a, as of very extreme exaggeration, but that's how my brain processed it as a kid. Right. I'm the biggest. And like when I'm just this size, like boys will finally like me, I'll finally be confident in a bathing suit. Like all of these different, like I'll finally get what I want. Right. Like I'll but it was like, what do I even want? I guess I wanna be seen. Right. Like I just be seen and I wanna be wanted. Right. And so that was like such a thing of like once I lose the weight, then I'll be seen and wanted.

 

Lizzy Rich

01:19:59

And so it's just this like constant, like on a diet, having weird relationships with food, shaving myself for loving food, right? Like all of these things being afraid to wear different bathing suits when other girls were wearing these like tiny little things. But I didn't feel confident toward those tiny little and like all of these different things. Right. And I feel like I'm just getting to this point of loving and honoring my body where it is and seeing it as something that's so good. And the only thing that changed my body has not changed. My situation has not changed. I'm still like a single woman who is not there's no boy, like whatever, but the only thing that's changed is the way that I'm speaking to myself. And I think the wor the way that we speak to ourself is really important that I don't think we realize, I don't think we realize like the gravity of our words even cause, and it's like, well, if, as long as I'm nice to other people, it doesn't matter what's happening inside my head.

 

Lizzy Rich

02:20:59

That's like this, for some reason, that's like this thing. And so we can be so self deprecating and then say, it's just thoughts. Right. And, but I actually started, this was like a year ago, every time I walked by a mirror, I would say something that I loved about myself. And it seems so prideful and fake at the beginning. It did, it was like, this is not real. I am lying. I, and I think my biggest thing would be my legs. Right. And so I, I, my legs, if I wore something, I would have to compliment my legs. Or if I did something like when I saw myself in my mirror and I would immediately catch myself being like, ah, but if I could just make those a little bit smaller, I'd be so much happier. I, and so I started to change that narrative around how I spoke to myself and how I, myself, when I ate, how I spoke to myself, when I knew I was gonna be in a bathing suit, how I spoke to my, how I like prepared my mind when people would make comments about my body.

 

Lizzy Rich

02:21:57

Like even ants, making comments of like, oh my gosh, have you lost weight? You look great. Right. I I'm just taking care of myself right now, loving on my body. Right. Like just like all of these different things and watching my confidence transform. And I think it's rooted in my body is a temple. My body is a gift from the Lord and I want to honor it. And so how do I honor it? I honor it by loving her. Right? Like, and so like, that's how I was able to do it in a way that's not prideful. It's not vain. Right. It's the Lord gave me my body. It's a gift and I wanna honor it. Right. Yeah. And so that's how I found it in bodily insecurity. Right. But I think with other things, right, I've like, I'll be happy when I like, honestly to this day, fight the lie that when I'm married, I'll be happy.

 

Lizzy Rich

02:22:58

And I know it's a lie and it's something that I've achieved a massive progress in massive progress in. And I think it stems from, it's a very real desire of my heart to be married. And that's not a, and I think it took me a really, a long time to realize it's not bad that this is my number. Like this is the major, like major desire of my heart. In fact, it's like very natural and it's very good, right? Like this is what, like the Lord gave me this desire. And so it's like, okay, that it's there, but it's what does it look like for me to dream in the season that the Lord has me in, if that makes sense. And that is how like, realizing, I think it took a lot of stepping back, looking at other people's relationships, looking at other people's marriages, looking at other people's whatever.

 

Lizzy Rich

02:23:50

Right. I was like, cause I went through the season of like, I'm gonna learn all that. I can't. So I'm gonna look at all these people's marriages. I'm gonna look at all these people's relationships so that I can be an expert when I like enter in. Right. Which I think is a great, good thing. Right. I was like, I'm gonna skill up and all these different things. But as I started to do that, I started to see like, wow, there are women who are so lonely in marriage. They're so lonely. And I think for me, I realized that lie of I'll be happy when I'm married was actually rooted in something deeper, which is I'm alone. And marriage is the solution to that loneliness. Right. And so it was actually rooted in a fear and it like, and that, and marriage was the solution to that fear.

 

Lizzy Rich

02:24:37

And that's not fair to my future spouse at all. He cannot, he cannot satisfy that in any way, shape or form. And I think for so many things like for work, right. When I reach this job, then I'll be happy and it could be this like there's maybe this lie right. Surrounding like happiness of like, yeah. When I get this thing, I'll be happy cuz it really not living in the present moment for sure. But I, I always wonder, like, what's the deeper, what's the deeper root what's happening. That's telling you that happiness is not possible right now. Mm. Right. Because for me, happiness, wasn't possible because I'm alone and, and the lo there's no solution to the loneliness unless I'm married. Does that make sense? Like, I don't know. So I like, it was really like, that was a hu a radical breakthrough point for me to say like, okay, what does it look like for me to heal and heal this wound of being alone.

 

Lizzy Rich

02:25:38

Mm. Now, and to work on that now, and by doing that, like who, like I have seen just radical can contentment in where I'm at and it still will come. Like it'll still come. Like, I'll see people in relationships. And I'm like, oh, you know, Jesus, I do. I really want that. It's there. I want that very badly. I want me some babies, like whatever, but it's, I also like, love my life right now. Like, I love it. I love the community. Like, I'm so intentional about forming community in where I'm at. I'm so intentional about forming myself in like daily relationship with the Lord, not just in prayer, but like continuous, right. Like talking to him, like, I go to lunch alone. I'm like having a conversation with the Lord in my head. Right. Like, which is so like, I would've never done that before, but now I'm like sitting up lunch, like, and so it's, yeah. It's like definitely a process. And there's like way more healing than you think attached to the lie of when I achieve blank, I'll be happy.

 

Jill Simons

02:26:47

That's super insightful because it wasn't the marriage thing for me when I was your age, it was actually really interesting because I had the opposite of so many people's experiences where I met my spouse when I was young. And I was like, wait Lord. Like I was supposed to get this time for achievement before the marriage thing. And very much, I think the way a lot of our secular culture looks at it. And I was very like discontented during that process. Cause I was like, but my PhD, but like all these achievement based things that I really was putting that self worth on and that I've gone through, like you talk about so much of this healing work. I realize how much there is so many wounds around this idea of achievement and achieving worth and things like that. And feeling like I was gonna miss the window where that was gonna be possible, which was really going to impact my ability.

 

Jill Simons

02:27:43

I thought to really ever reach that self worth threshold. And now here I am pregnant with my fourth child at an age that I was thinking I would maybe be getting started. And, and it's just so different than how I imagined it. And I think that that's, that is the one common thread I think I see amongst everyone is that everybody's like, this was not how I planned it, whether it's, you know, waiting or coming too early or whatever the situation is. I think that that is really a hallmark of when we are open to God, moving people whose lives have gone exactly how they planned. So often I see that there's kind of not the door cracked open. And so I, I don't hear about that a lot in Christian's lives where things kind of just go how they planned. So often I'm trying to think of if I can think of anyone because every single one of my friends in close relationships that I can think of where they are surrendered to God, there's these curve balls just all the time. And I think that that is so often a mercy that allows us to really see these things like you're talking about, you know, like the amount of healing that has to go on so often, if there's not, if that never gets revealed that it needs to happen, then it doesn't ever get healed.

 

Lizzy Rich

02:29:11

Yeah. Mm. That actually, that makes me think of, I was reading through Exodus, just moving into Lin and it, Jesus, and God says he, he could have brought them the way of Philistine. I think anyway, he could have brought them a shorter way. So they wouldn't have had to go four years in the desert, but he essentially says, but if they had gone that way, they would've encountered war. And if they had encountered war, they would've gone back into slavery into Egypt. And so what he did instead of this, literally it's essentially something along the lines of like 40 days of traveling versus 40 years of traveling is like the difference of what it was. And God could have brought them in this like very short 40 way thing. But instead he brought them through this 40 years of just journeying with him and like immense healing of immense, like reli, immense surrender and all these things where they had to like get rid of all these lies, all these negative things, all this lack of trust and become perfectly reliant upon the father. Like they had to become perfectly reliant upon God in the desert. Right? Like there's nothing but reliance up by the end.

 

Lizzy Rich

03:30:23

And, but if you had taken them any other way, that wouldn't have happened. Mm. Right. And so I think it is such this thing of like, yeah, like he throws these curve balls and we could be like, why does the Lord allow this? Or why does he allow this suffering? Or why like all of these things, but it's like, we, in the moment the Israelis hadn't like they could, they wouldn't be like, I am so glad that he has me in the desert for 40 years because I am on a growth journey. Like that's not what was going through their head at all. Like they were like, Jesus, wait Lord, what the heck? Jesus didn't exist yet. My bad, like, God, what the heck? Like they were mad and they were upset and they were processing through things, but it was essential because any other way, they were would've returned to slavery.

 

Lizzy Rich

03:31:05

Hmm. Right. And I think like translating it back to this idea of self image, like living in a place where we have to please prove, provide, protect, right. To, or earn our worth in any way. We have to prove our worth. We have to protect our worth. We have to provide our worth. We have to earn it. All of those different places. That's slavery. There's no freedom in that. It's, it's not. And, and yet, like we are raised in a place where we do, right. Whether it's our work. If I, I like once I prove that I am capable of doing this thing, then I am worthy. Once I earn the love of a man, then I'll be happy in all, I'll feel what I wanna feel. Right. And, but that's a place of, there's no freedom in that. That's slavery. And so oftentimes I think the Lord leads us on a different path than we originally wanted.

 

Lizzy Rich

03:31:57

Like I wanted to be married by now. I, I wanna be pregnant right now. I would like, my path has me already married with a baby, but for some reason he has me on this other one. And I know for a fact that if I had entered into marriage on my path, on my, my timeline that I had set for myself, I would be so insecure in that marriage. So lonely in that marriage. And I would be the, that I, and maybe my I, whoever my husband was like, it would be me that was leading to the insecurities and the struggle within that, because I was not ready. And I was in a place of slavery where I would have to earn love from him. And I would need more than from him than he could give. Yeah. If I, and so like, he protected me from that slavery by bringing me on this longer one.

 

Jill Simons

03:32:42

Yeah, absolutely. So that's so similar to what happened to me because I graduated early and had all of just this very achievement based plan laid out. And then I was going to get my MFA and I applied to all of these prestigious programs. And this is, you know, I'm a person who had never been told no before on a, like achievement based front. And I get nine reduction letters from every single school that I apply to this spring of this year, not this year, but in when I was 22. And it was just like dead on the floor. And I just always had this image though, in retrospect of God, like a parent being like, this hurts me more than it hurts you. Like, I'm not really doing this, like crush your spirit, but this would crush your spirit in a worse way. If I allowed this to really happen and looking back, I realized how my much, my life would've become about that. And even though I was already married, I would've really resented that marriage for being in the way or, you know, needing to be open to life that could potentially derail things. And all of these other things that I would've carried into that situation where I was so focused on achieving worth, that I thought was going to lead me to finally feel a certain way about myself.

 

Lizzy Rich

03:34:07

Yeah, absolutely. I, I was recently talking to a woman and she was saying, she prayed this prayer like years ago, essentially. Like Lord stripped me of anything that distracts me from you. And I, and he answered in like way more radical way than she wanted. And like, it was like, like her whole world was destroyed pretty much. Right. And, but at its core, what it was is it, it removed all of her false identity, false confidence, false. The, the things that she had built herself image upon that weren't him, her marriage, her reputation in society, her ability to like her reputation as a mother, like all of these things were destroyed. They were stripped from her. And like, that's a very extreme example, right? That's a very extreme example, but it is. I think we build our, we think we have this really solid, solid idea of like building our foundation of our worth on all of these achievements and all of these little identity points.

 

Lizzy Rich

03:35:14

So my identity as a wife, my identity as a mother, my identity as a ambitious career, my identity as a career woman is a student, oh my gosh. A huge one. My identity is a student is like, I'm a good student. That's who I am like. Right. All of these different things like any, any IDE I, I am statements, right. That aren't, I am a daughter of the king. Right? Like anything outside of that, right. Are all these like fragile identity points that our self-image is so, so steeped in and when the Lord starts like pulling those strings or any, or maybe it's not even the Lord, maybe the devil or maybe the world something happens and those strings start to fall. And they're like these little, like, it's kinda like a what's the game Petris. No, not Teris J Jenga Jenga. Yeah. It's like a Jen like a super fragile Jenga tower.

 

Lizzy Rich

03:36:04

And like one little thing gets pulled and the whole tower crumbles. And like, that's what our self image and our worth is. If it's not rooted in the fact that like I am a daughter of the king of the universe, I have an unconditional worth that cannot be earned. It cannot be proved. It, it doesn't need like, none of this needs to happen. I don't need to do anything. I am just because I am created, I am worthy of infinite love. I'm worthy of being seen. I am worthy of being wanted. I'm worthy of being known simply because I've been created by the father. That's it. And like, if our identity is built on anything else, it's a Jen of tower ready to fall. Yeah. So,

 

Jill Simons

03:36:46

Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for sharing all of your wisdom with us, Lizzie. It was such a pleasure to talk to you.

 

Lizzy Rich

03:36:54

Thank you for having me. I absolutely love being here.

 

Jill Simons

03:36:57

Thank you so much for joining on today's episode of the authentic uprising podcast. If you're watching on YouTube or listening on a podcast app, make sure that you hit subscribe so that you can get all of our updates automatically in your app on YouTube. And we also ask that you leave us a review or a comment. If you're in a podcast app, leave us a review that helps us get seen by more people and on YouTube, leave us a comment, let us know what you loved from the episode and send it on to a friend. I am sure that, you know, someone who really needs the message in this podcast from today. I also encourage you to check out pink salt riots. That is my company that sponsors this podcast. We have an incredible online shop full of all kinds of beautiful and unique Christian lifestyle goods. You can shop our whole line at pink, salt, riot.com. I'll see you next week.

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